once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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