I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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