I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
