i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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