what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
