You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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