My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
BRING THE BAGELS
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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