meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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