Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
