You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
