its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
