He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
