The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
