I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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