Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
