So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
