So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
