i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
