I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
