used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
