Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
