So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
