This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
