evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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