Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize