I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
