is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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