so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
