He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
