no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he shaved USA in his pubs
high people should be assigned attendants
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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