PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize