Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize