I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
