Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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