We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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