none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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