She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
