i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
