So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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