Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
