the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
