I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
