i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
