Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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