Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
