i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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