i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Do vagina's smell?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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