Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize