okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
What a dumb baby whore.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
