I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
