Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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