Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
