I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize