You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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