Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
