Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
you never un-have a 4some
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
