Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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