What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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