my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
