forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
how drunk are you?
Several
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize