I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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