Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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