You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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