Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She's the barista slut.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
