i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
