No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
