You can't motorboat a personality
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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