My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
