I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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