all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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