yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
